Ups & Downs of Ninety Pounds

Well, here we are less than three months after the big 70-pound-loss reveal, and I'm still going.  Maybe a little slower, but still steady.  I'm now down a whopping 90 pounds, my pants are a 10 and my shirts all say M on them.  I'm still shocked sometimes when I catch my reflection, or look down at my body.  My wrists and my hands have even changed so much.  With the sizing up from all the weight gain after the kids, my wedding rings are so large that I can't wear them; they are 4 full sizes too big and I will have to get them re-made.  Sad, but not the end of the world.  I've been overwhelmed with the amount of encouragement that people have given me, and I really do feel like a different person on the outside.

While most of this experience has been really positive and has a high "feel-good" level, I've found out a lot about how others (especially women) viewed me before and how they view me now.  And that has left a lasting impression.  All of this has happened in such a short time that I still very much remember being on the other side of the scale, and I hope I never forget.  But how can I not seem to recall how many women looked me up and down and decided I wasn't worth their time because of my size?  I see it now as it happens to other plus-sized women, it happens to them with the moms in the hallways at school or fellow customers at the grocery store.  And I see it now as I seem to all-of-a-sudden be welcomed into the club of thin women.  Before my eyes this new world has opened up and I am shown the shallow nature of people on a regular basis; it's reminded me just how many women have really never left high school.  It has made me realize just how many superficial friends I don't have.  I could not be more thankful that I have so many people around me who have always loved me with their hearts and not just their eyes.