The Experiment

Ever had a moment of random sudden motivation to do something that you didn't think you could do?

Without really even knowing why, without planning or timing, I started an experiment.  On July 20th 2012, exactly 6 months ago, I decided to see what would happen if I permanently changed the way I ate.  DRASTICALLY changed.  I would be lying if I said I thought it would be easy, but I decided that unless I saw no change in my body, I would completely overhaul my personal diet permanently.

I am not one of those people who was DYING to lose weight.  To tell you the truth, I was perfectly okay with being fat.  I have never been that fat girl who desperately (and unsuccessfully) clawed her way through every new diet and every fad weight loss trick.  I know a very big girl who constantly talks to everyone she knows about how THIS new diet/exercise plan/zumba class is going to CHANGE her LIFE and she's going to be skinny and we'll all be jealous, but then she quits two weeks into it because she didn't lose any weight yet.  I have never wanted to be that person.  I hate talking about dieting and weight loss, which is yet another deterrent to do it.  I was completely turned off by hearing dieters obsessing over calorie counts and weight watchers meetings and carbs.  I think I preferred not to watch my weight at all because of that.  Dieters become more obsessed with food than obese people.  I am anti-diet.

Like I said before, I have always been fine with being fat.  I was very matter-of-fact about being a big girl; seeing the "fat genes" in my family is easy, so I think I explained away any potential insecurities about my weight with the "fat is in my family so I'll never be thin and that's okay" response.  I also just didn't want to give up eating what I liked, which added to the previous reasoning as well.  Pete has never been fixated on my weight, so I have never felt pressure from him to weigh a certain amount, and he has always loved me and been attracted to me regardless of my size.

I still don't know how, but for some reason a switch flipped in my head, and I decided to do this.  And here I am, exactly six months later, weighing SEVENTY POUNDS less and still going strong.

It was a quick decision; one I never thought I'd make in the first place anyway, so I jumped in right away just in case I lost my nerve.  Besides Pete, I decided not to tell anyone at first.  Fear of failure was part of it, but I also wanted to let people notice it on their own and decide whether or not they wanted to talk about it.  It took three months and 35 pounds before the first person noticed and said something to me.  Lots of people haven't said anything at all, and that's okay too.  Weight loss is an awkward subject sometimes.

I've learned a lot in these last 6 months, and the things I've put into practice are things I already knew.  I mean, I knew them, but I didn't KNOW them.  It's not that I ate that badly. In fact, with having celiac disease, it's not very easy to eat poorly, since most processed foods are off the table anyway.  But after 2 months, I discovered for myself that food was a very real addiction that I broke myself of.  It wasn't until I stopped eating certain foods for long enough that I stopped craving them completely.  Once I took a step back and truly listened to my body, I was able to respond accordingly in both the quantity and type of food I ate.  I've now realized that for me, "fat genes" are a lie.  It's just simply a fact that if you put more fuel in your body than it burns off, your body stores it.  It you want to store less fuel, you have to burn more or fill up less.  Some bodies burn up fuel faster than others, I just had to realize that I was one of the others.

After these 6 short months have flown by and these 70 pounds have come off, I've gone from a size 18 down to a 12, and an XXL to an L.  I'm now in the same size clothing I was before I had kids, although I'm not the same proportions by a long shot.  Pete and I were shopping the other day and Pete ran to the sporting goods section and we grabbed 70 pounds of weights just for an illustration.  If you lose some weight, do that sometime.  Even if you've lots 10 pounds, it's very encouraging to hold that weight and realize that you used to carry that much more inside of you.

Here are a couple pics I dug up and one I quickly took today... They're not that good, so the difference isn't insanely noticeable in these, but you can still tell!

Before.

3 months in.

Today.

More to come as I continue my journey!